Update!
Well, I never received a call from the people at the company of my Dream Job. Yes, I will see if I can send a follow-up saying, "You don't know me, and this is crazy. I really want this job. Call me, maybe?" If that just made you start singing, then my work is done.
Meantime, however, an acting/modeling company wants to train me to work one Saturday a month coaching kids and teens. Totally up my alley, too. Teaching. Kids. Acting. Yup, another great opportunity to make money doing something I love. But here is the issue: motivation.
What are the key components of motivation?
I wanted to know, so I jumped onto YouTube and asked for a video detailing this exact information. I found a TEDTalks video (I so love those), and Scott Geller says they're all about empowerment:
1) Do you believe you can do it? Do you have the time, knowledge, training?
2) Do you believe it will work?
3) Is it worth it?
Answering yes to these three questions means you have what it takes to be motivated to do the job.
How does that apply to the coaching job? I believe I can do it. I have yet to go into the training to see if I feel it will work for me, but so far my gut says yes. Is it worth it is my main question. See, I already know it's very part-time, so it's not going to pay the bills in full. It may cost me to park in a garage in the city. Plus a meal that day. Plus gas to get there. And it's going to take up one of the only days I have to see my boyfriend. So...is it worth it? That is where my motivation feels stalled.
However, maybe it will lead to more work at the company. Maybe it will lead to a full-time position there at some point. Maybe I will enjoy it so much I'll forget about the cons.
Job or no job?
In the end, I will need to see where I stand regarding my writing career. My issues with motivation there include failure. I have gotten soooo close, only to fail in the end. It's very discouraging. I know I'm a good writer. I know there is place for improvement, which keeps me feeling challenged. So I believe I can do it. But...will it work...will it pay my bills? And is it worth it? Is it worth draining my savings account to do what I love?
Will I be forced to eventually work at a place that dulls my brain, makes me sedentary, puts me in a place where I don't see a positive outcome? Those who know me well know that when I feel stuck, when I feel trapped...I want to escape. Add that to my depression issues and you have a person who would rather die than live a life like that. The reason I quit my job to write is because...if I didn't, I might have died. Literally. Because I can't live a life where I have no opportunity for growth, expression, and creativity. I can't. I know people do it. No one feels sorry for me because, look, at least I have my health (for the most part) and a family (even if it's just me and my two boys) and a bank account (thanks to never taking vacations and living sparsely). And maybe I will run out of money eventually...it's not as if I have unlimited funds. In fact, the bank may run dry fairly soon. But guess what? These things are all motivators for me.
Motivators to bust my butt and get working on creating stories. Now. Before it's too late.
No time like the present
I have a lot of pans in the fire right now. I have my next YA book to complete, a couple screenplays to write, some odd jobs here and there. All I need is that extra push. The little sing-song voice in my head that says, "Get to work now. Don't be lazy. Keep on writing. Make a living, maybe."